


It's Hard to Explain

by JeffCarter



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Colorado Avalanche, Established Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-25
Updated: 2018-06-25
Packaged: 2019-05-28 16:32:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15053321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JeffCarter/pseuds/JeffCarter
Summary: It's a Wednesday afternoon when Tyson's phone suddenly starts blowing up. He's in the kitchen just washing the dishes when it starts buzzing like crazy letting him know he's receiving what sounds like a thousand notifications. He scrubs the last of the plates and dries his hands briefly before fumbling to unlock his phone. The first notification he reads is from the NHL app notifying him that,'Colorado Avalanche captain Gabriel Landeskog parts ways with the Avs; signing a one-year deal with Djugårdens.'***OR - The one where Tyson and Gabe break up, pine a lot, and eventually make-up.





	It's Hard to Explain

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I'm back with my second ever fic! This one wasn't meant to be over 10,000 words but that did not work out lmao oops? I was looking at pics from Gabe's bachelor party and was inspired to do a Tyson/Gabe fic and here it is. Let's pretend that Gabe didn't delete his Insta and this story is also set a few years into the future just to clear that up :)
> 
> This AU was honestly SO enjoyable to write and I've had an absolute blast writing it (who knew angst could be good sometimes)
> 
> I can't tell you how much fun it was to write the friendship between Tyson/Nate/EJ those boys really do own my ass.
> 
> The title is from the song Hard to Explain by The Strokes
> 
> Anyways, I really hope you enjoy reading it! 
> 
> And, of course, I would love for you guys to follow me on Tumblr and chat to me about all kinds of hockey stuff @nhlboys
> 
> Thank you!

Tyson started noticing how strange Gabe was acting around three weeks ago, not too long after their disastrous season had finally ended. Tyson knew seasons like that were fucking draining and could dampen your mood for the whole summer, but Gabe's behaviour was weirder than that and he was pretty sure it had nothing to do with how they weren't even close to making a playoff spot. He was acting distant, not cold per-se but it was as if his head was in a totally different place, a totally different planet even. Tyson had no idea what was making his boyfriend so lost in thought all the time but he had to admit it was starting to really worry him. 

A few days ago, he was heading to the kitchen to start breakfast when he found Gabe already there, about to put a spoonful of salt in his coffee instead of sugar because he was spacing-out so hard. It was only when Tyson jolted forward to hit the spoon out of his hand that Gabe had finally noticed his mistake and then started to clean up the spilled salt as if nothing had happened while Tyson just looked on at him in disbelief. 

Tyson has tried to ask him about it subtly a few times but gets nothing more from Gabe other than him using the "off-season blues" excuse which is complete bullshit if you ask him. He knows Gabe struggles with losses a lot, maybe more than anyone else on the team being the captain and all but he's never seen him act like this. They have this sort of pact between them where hockey related issues stay at the rink, and they don't bring it home and they certainly don't take it out on each other which is what's upsetting Tyson the most about Gabe's weird mood. And it's not like he can google 'why is my hot Swedish boyfriend spacing out twenty-four seven while looking super grumpy all the time?' 

It's especially bad when Gabe spaces out when they're supposed to be spending quality time together. They have date night every Friday where they usually go out for dinner or do something fun like crazy golf or whatever but Tyson has to admit the most recent date night was a complete disaster because it was like Gabe wasn't even there. To be fair, Gabe's attention was definitely focused on him when Tyson was riding his brains out later that night but the afterglow cuddling wasn't as comforting as usual. 

It's around noon on a Saturday and they're sitting together on the couch in the living room watching the food channel half-heartedly when things finally come to a head. 

"Gabe," Tyson says nudging Gabe's thigh with his foot to try and get his attention. Gabe just continues to stare at the chef cooking a complicated pasta dish on the TV as if he never spoke. Tyson sighs heavily and kicks at his thigh again. "Gabe," he repeats but louder and firmer this time. 

Gabe finally breaks out of his daze with a jolt and looks over at Tyson plastering a smile on his face that doesn't quite reach his eyes. "Huh? Sorry babe, what were you saying?" He asks and places a hand on Tyson's foot, rubbing his thumb back and forth on his ankle-bone. His face still looks resigned and it sets a horrible feeling in Tyson's stomach. 

The pet name and touches from Gabe make Tyson want to just drop it and have a serious discussion later, but he knows he needs to find out what's bothering Gabe because he absolutely hates seeing him like this. He's just afraid he's not going to like what Gabe has to say. 

"I've been talking to you for the past five minutes about Nate's Instagram post from yesterday and you haven't listened to a word I've said. What is going on with you Gabe?" Tyson says forcefully and sits up on the sofa to put a little space between them otherwise he knows he'll give up and change the subject if Gabe distracts him well enough which is a common occurrence to say the least. 

Gabe sighs and rolls his eyes as if Tyson's the one being irrational, "I told you it's just-" he starts but Tyson quickly cuts him off. 

"Don't say it's fucking off-season blues again man, I'm not stupid okay?" says Tyson resigning himself to a stressful conversation, "Look, you've been like this for a while now Gabe and it's freaking me out. You know you can tell me anything, right?" Tyson asks and Gabe nods solemnly. 

Gabe still doesn't speak for a while and they're just sat in silence looking at each other until Tyson voices a concern that's been playing on his mind. "I- is...fuck is it me? Did I do something to upset you?" 

Gabe's eyes grow wide at that and he shakes his head vigorously. "God no Tys, it's not you I promise." 

"Well what's wrong then? What's happened? Please just fucking tell me," Tyson pleads. 

"Fuck," Gabe starts and looks away at the TV again blatantly avoiding his eyes, "I didn't want to tell you until next week so I'd have more time to prepare but-" he cuts himself off sighing deeply and pinches the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger. "I'm not signing with the Avs next season," Gabe answers finally. 

A moment of silence passes between them as Tyson processes that information. Tyson is honestly...a little relieved. He thought Gabe was going to confess something worse, like he had cheated on him or something. "So... you're retiring? I don't understand what you're saying." 

"I'm not retiring," Gabe says and Tyson is about to start asking more questions when Gabe speaks again, "I'm moving back to Sweden. Djurgårdens in Stockholm have offered me a contract – a good one and I- well I'm gonna take it," He says timidly and looks tentatively at Tyson to try and gage his reaction. 

Tyson isn't sure what his face is doing but he knows it's not good by the way Gabe swallows audibly. He tries to breathe normally and think rationally which is easier said than done when he feels like his entire fucking world just got turned upside down. 

"What- I'm not- what?" He stutters stupidly. 

"I'm moving back to Sweden," Gabe says again and it hurts just like it did the first time, "I just think it's the right time. I'm not getting any younger and I miss my family back home and last season was-" 

"You're leaving?" Tyson asks and it comes out so hoarse he has to clear his throat several times. 

Gabe looks just as pained to be having this conversation and tries to grab hold of his hand just for something to hold onto but Tyson quickly moves it out of reach like he's been burnt and puts even more distance between them. 

"Tyson-" he starts voice shaky, but Tyson doesn't want to hear it. 

"You're just gonna leave like that? Just move out and go like it's nothing?" He asks incredulously, and he can feel his cheeks heating up like they always do when he gets really mad. 

"C'mon that's not fair, it's nothing personal and nothing to do with our relationship Tys. It's just...it seems like the right thing to do right now. Things seem to be going nowhere with the Avs and I just feel stuck." Gabe says. 

Tyson clenches his jaw still not quite believing what he's hearing. "We've been together for nearly six years and now you're just gonna fucking leave me? All this time you've been looking so goddamn miserable and I thought I had done something wrong but you were actually just thinking about fucking off?" He laughs a little when he's done speaking but there's no humour in it at all. 

Gabe looks more upset the more Tyson speaks and there's a small part of Tyson that revels in it right now honestly, "I know it looks bad and this isn't how I wanted it to go but I never had any intention of leaving you or breaking up with you! This hasn't been fucking easy for me either you know. It's all I've been able to think about for months, just trying to figure out what's best for me, for you and for the team," he says, starting to get a little angry too. 

"Were you even going to tell me if I hadn't dragged it out of you?" asks Tyson. 

"Of course I would've! I wanted to tell you closer to the time when everything is finalised and settled, as if I would just wake up and leave without saying a word!" Gabe says, a deep frown on his face. 

Tyson shakes his head disbelievingly, "So what now? You move 5,000 miles away and we see each other a couple times a year if we're lucky and you send me nice little postcards and tell me about how much fun you're having in Stockholm huh? I don't know about you but that's not exactly my idea of a relationship Gabe," he says petulantly. He's knows he's purposely being difficult now but he can't bring himself to care. 

"God you act like such a fucking child sometimes!" Gabe explodes. 

"Oh fuck you. I'm the child? Says the one who's throwing a six year relationship down the drain just because of one bad season!" 

"Try five bad seasons not just one! I was willing to try my absolute fucking best to make this work despite the distance but you clearly don't care about me and maybe you never fucking did in the first place," Gabe spits and Tyson can't help but visibly flinch at his words as he feels like Gabe just punched him in the gut. 

Gabe immediately looks remorseful once he fully realizes what he said. "Fuck, I didn't mean that. I know you care, of course you do," He says quickly but Tyson doesn't want to listen to what he has to say at this point. 

See, the thing is, Tyson would do anything for Gabe. He's like head-over-heels-soulmate-in-love with him and that's what hurts the most about this entire shit storm. He would never even consider purposely moving away from Gabe, especially to a different continent no matter how shitty he was feeling in regards to the Avs and hockey in general because Denver is his home. Gabe is his home. So the fact that Gabe has the audacity to accuse him of not caring about him...well, it couldn't be farther from the truth. 

It's ultimately that which forces Tyson to say, "I think you should leave." All the fight has left him so it comes out resigned and cold and he refuses to meet Gabe's eyes because he knows he'll crumble otherwise. 

"Tyson, please-" Gabe pleads hoarsely and cuts himself off when he doesn't know what else to say. 

Tyson swallows thickly, "Please, just get out. I don't want you here right now." He finally makes eye-contact with Gabe and sees his face is stricken and his mouth is opening and closing like he's trying to think of something to say. 

Tyson doesn't bother waiting for a response, he just stands up from the couch and makes his way up the stairs, ignoring Gabe calling after him pleadingly. He heads straight to their bedroom down the hall – or his bedroom now he guesses – and flops down on it unceremoniously, grabbing a pillow to hug tight to his body. Gabe thankfully doesn't follow him because he really needs to be alone right now so he can feel sorry for himself in peace. 

He's not entirely sure how much time has passed when he hears the front door closing, signaling that Gabe finally left and Tyson breathes out shakily, clutching the pillow even tighter. He wants to scream or cry or do something to release all his pent-up anger and sadness but he just lays there staring at a particular spot on the opposite wall, shocked and confused at what the hell just happened. He's pretty sure he just ended a six-year relationship – the best relationship he's ever had and he has never felt so fucking lost in all his life. 

 

*** 

He must fall asleep eventually because the next thing he knows he's waking up with a killer headache and the sun is just starting to set outside. He groans and stretches until his back pops audibly and looks around under the pillows and duvet to try and find his phone that fell out of his pocket while he was sleeping. He finally finds it on the floor next to his bed and he sees that it's just gone 5pm and he's been asleep for like 5 hours. Fuck, he's never going to get to sleep tonight. Arguments clearly make him sleepy, who knew? 

Tyson lays back on the bed and scrolls through the notifications on his phone noting that he has no messages or calls from Gabe which is both disappointing and a relief as he doesn't know if he can deal with that shit right now. Then he notices he has five unread texts all from Nate being his usual annoying self Tyson assumes. 

Nate: meet me for breakfast tomorrow?? 

Nate: we can go to the IHOP near ur place, I'm craving the stuffed French toast 

Nate: and before u judge my diet it's the offseason I can do what I want : ) 

Nate: bring Gabe too obvs 

Nate: ??? hello ??? 

Tyson rolls his eyes fondly at his best friend as he reads the messages. He guesses it would be good to meet up with Nate and use it as an opportunity to vent to him about everything that happened. Nate's a good listener and sometimes gives good advice (by sometimes he means usually never) but now that he thinks about it, Tyson could also really go for some sugary unhealthy delicious stuffed French toast first thing in the morning. The only issue is that Nate obviously expects him to bring Gabe too which is obviously not fucking happening. 

Tyson: sure man, what time? 

He doesn't have to wait long until his phone buzzes with Nate's reply, 

Nate: 8am sharp bro 

Nate: U think Gabe will be able to get his ass out of bed that early? 

Tyson sighs as he reads the second message. He thought he'd be able to just show up without Gabe rather than explain things to Nate over text but he guesses that's not happening. 

Tyson: Gabe won't be coming. 

Nate: What!? U guys sure you can cope without each other for a few hours? Lol 

Nate's obviously joking and Tyson knows that but the realization that he's going to have to tell people that he and Gabe are probably no longer...well he and Gabe is going to be exhausting and get really fucking old really quick. 

Tyson: Guess that's something we'll have to get used to. 

He answers and the little speech bubble keeps appearing and disappearing telling Tyson that Nate is obviously stuck on what to say, 

Nate: ?????? 

Is all the reply says and Tyson guesses that's fair seeing as he's being pretty cryptic but he'd just rather do this face to face. 

Tyson: I'll explain tomorrow. 

He doesn't wait for Nate to reply as he just shuts off his phone and heads downstairs towards the kitchen to fix something to eat because talking about IHOP made him realize he hasn't eaten since this morning which is a longtime for a hockey player. 

When in the kitchen, he just fixes up a meal of chicken and pasta leftovers that he shoves in the microwave for a few minutes. While he waits for his food to heat up he surveys the kitchen and it suddenly hits him how intertwined his and Gabe's stuff has become in the four years they've been living together. There's the photos of both their families pinned up on the refrigerator as well as the ones of just the two of them as a couple mostly from their romantic vacations. Then there's the pile of dishes that have yet to be washed by the sink; two wine glasses, two plates, two sets of cutleries that clearly show a couple lives here. It's such a stupid thing to really take notice of and Tyson feels even stupider when it's the dirty dishes that make Tyson's heart fucking ache when he realizes he'll be making dinner for one for the foreseeable future. 

The beeping of the microwave makes him jump as he's pulled out of his oncoming crisis about goddamn cups and plates. 

He eats in the living room by himself while a crappy soap opera that he couldn't care less about plays on the TV. Tyson just wanted it on as background noise because sitting there in silence in the dark while thinking about his love life really would be taking pathetic to a whole new level. 

Part of him feels like this is where he's meant to dramatically sob into a tub of Ben and Jerry's ice-cream or maybe throw some of Gabe's clothes into the swimming pool that's in the backyard. He doesn't do any of that stuff though. He sits there, eats his dinner, and goes back to bed while trying not to even look at any of Gabe's stuff otherwise he knows he really will start sobbing and he's going to try his damn best to make sure that doesn't happen before he even knows if his relationship with Gabe is really over. Every part of him hopes it's not. 

 

*** 

"You're twenty minutes late dude," is the first thing Nate says to him as Tyson slides into the opposite booth at IHOP. 

Tyson rolls his eyes dramatically at him, "For your information, the water at my place decided to stop running halfway through my shower so I had to rinse the shampoo out of my hair in the kitchen sink so excuse me for not giving a shit that I'm twenty minutes late," he grunts out. As it turns out, the entire universe and his shower are out to get him lately it seems. 

Nate just bursts out laughing which is nothing less than Tyson expected from him. "Awesome, you do look like shit by the way," Nate tells him once he's stopped laughing. 

Tyson goes a bit rigid at that. He knows he doesn't look great right now but it's more for reasons such as his long-term boyfriend deciding to leave him and move back to Sweden where Tyson may never see him again rather than because his shower is a bitch. 

Nate obviously notices the change in his body language - which of course he does, they've been best friends for years - and he turns more serious too. 

"What? Why does your face look all...mopey?" Asks Nate. 

Tyson is luckily given a little more time to think of a response as the waitress approaches them and asks for their order. They both get the stuffed French toast and coffee and then she heads back towards the kitchen with a nod. Nate looks at him expectantly when she's out of earshot and raises his eyebrows questioningly. 

Tyson sighs and runs a hand through his hair like he always does when he's stressed. "Gabe uh, he's- he's not signing with us next season." he eventually gets out. 

Tyson would laugh at the comically shocked expression on Nate's face if the situation weren't so fucking upsetting. 

Nate splutters for a moment before blurting out a "What the fuck?" And yeah, that pretty much sums everything up. 

They're both quiet for a few moments as Tyson lets him digest the news. Nate is obviously lost for words which is certainly not a common occurrence. 

"Did he get traded or...?" Nate asks. 

Tyson shakes his head. Honestly, he thinks Gabe being traded would be a better situation because at least he wouldn't be leaving him by choice. 

"Dude, please explain what the fuck's going on because I am beyond confused right now." 

"He's going back home – to Sweden. Something about doing the right thing for himself and the team and me," he explains. "I don't fucking know. He told me yesterday and it got kinda heated." he shrugs playing with the napkin on the table. 

"Shit," Nate says and Tyson nods his head in agreement. "He just said it out of the blue?" 

"Nah, not really. I mean, I knew something had been bothering him for a while because he was acting all shady. I just- I didn't expect him to tell me he was leaving me you know?" He laughs self-deprecatingly. 

"Tys, I'm so sorry bro," he says sincerely and when Tyson meets his eyes he looks genuinely upset and why wouldn't he? It's not just Tyson that Gabe is leaving behind, he's leaving his best friends – his team behind too. "When is he leaving?" He asks. 

"I have no idea. He told me yesterday and I just got so goddamn mad at him that I didn't even ask about any of the logistics. We argued for a while until I kicked him out basically," Tyson explains. 

"I wanna kick his ass so bad right now," Nate says and it makes Tyson laugh at least. 

The waitress comes over then and hands them their food which smells divine and the borderline pornographic noise Nate makes tells Tyson that he agrees. 

"God this is so good," Nate says with a mouthful of French toast. Tyson scrunches his nose up in disgust and scorns him for talking with his mouthful which gets him an eyeroll in return. Tyson's glad that this camaraderie still exists between them despite the bombshell he dropped earlier. 

"So," Nate starts, thankfully waiting until he's finished eating what's in his mouth this time, "I guess you guys aren't doing the long-distance thing?" He asks tentatively. 

Tyson heaves a huge sigh. "I thought about it but when does long distance ever work? I don't want to be one of those couples who literally see each other twice a year and the only action they get is watching each other jerk off over skype." 

Nate chokes on his cup of coffee at that, "Ugh, okay first of all I never want to have to think about you and Gabe having Skype sex ever again. Second of all, I don't know man like long distance can be difficult but it's not impossible, right?" 

"Yeah I know that but- ugh it's hard to explain. Like, most couples doing the long-distance thing are being forced to do it you know? If they had the choice to be closer together then they would, right? But this is Gabe choosing to do long-distance, choosing not to live together anymore, choosing to be 5,000 miles away. Like, I'm not the smartest guy in the world but I know how to take a fucking hint." He finishes. His little rant has started to get him keyed up again so he shoves a forkful of sugary French toast in his mouth in an attempt calm down. 

Nate looks contemplative like he's thinking of how to respond, "I guess I didn't think of it like that," he sighs deeply, "Well I don't envy you man, this is definitely a shitty situation. Hey, if you find out when he's leaving will you let me know? I wanna make sure he doesn't leave before saying goodbye to me and all the guys." 

Tyson nods, "Of course man, and thanks for letting me vent all this to you. I know you only came for the food but I really needed this," he voices sincerely. 

"Awh don't get all mushy on me now bud," he jokes and Tyson rolls his eyes fondly, "Seriously though, just say the word and I will kick his ass," he says and Tyson honestly can't tell if he's joking or not. Either way it's the kind of statement that reaffirms why Nate is his best friend. 

"You're an idiot," He tells him and Nate throws his napkin at him starting an all-out war of napkin throwing and it's exactly what he needed. 

 

*** 

A few days pass by uneventfully where Tyson's days mostly consist of working out in the gym in his building and scrolling aimlessly through Twitter. One thing that has changed though is Gabe's radio silence. He keeps sending Tyson random texts mostly consisting of things that have happened during his day. 'Just passed a dog wearing a little sweater on my run. It was the cutest thing I've ever seen I swear lol' is the latest text Gabe sent. Tyson is yet to reply to any of them. He knows he seems petty as fuck and it's not that Tyson is still angry, he just doesn't know what to say. He doesn't want to have nice light-hearted conversations with Gabe as if nothing even happened. As if they're even still a couple. Gabe's not even living with him at the moment for fuck's sake, in fact, he has no idea where Gabe is even staying right now. So no, he does not want to fucking talk about a dog sweater no matter how adorable it sounds because things are still shitty between them and they can't just brush that under the rug. 

It's a Wednesday afternoon when Tyson's phone suddenly starts blowing up. He's in the kitchen just washing the dishes when it starts buzzing like crazy letting him know he's receiving what sounds like a thousand notifications. He scrubs the last of the plates and dries his hands briefly before fumbling to unlock his phone. The first notification he reads is from the NHL app notifying him that, 

'Colorado Avalanche captain Gabriel Landeskog parts ways with the Avs; signing a one-year deal with Djugårdens.' 

Tyson exhales shakily. Well, it's official now, written in black and white for him to see. He wishes Gabe had given him a heads up and told him the official announcement would be today so he could switch his notifications off but it's too late now. His unread messages are through the roof and are literally increasing by the minute. He scrolls through just scanning them briefly. Most people have just sent variations of 'What the hell???' Or 'Have you guys broken up?' He ignores the majority of them, only answering ones from his mom and some of the guys on the team. 

EJ sounds the most upset out of them all as he sent: 

EJ: 'Please tell me it's not true omg' with a hundred crying-face emojis at the end. 

Tyson: Trust me, I wish it wasn't. He replies 

EJ: OMG. Tys this is the worst news ever dude. Do you realize what this means!? You and Gabe were the best couple I knew so now there's no fucking hope for the rest of us : ((( 

Tyson rolls his eyes a little at that. He loves EJ dearly but god he can be so fucking dramatic sometimes. He's distraught and he's not even the one who was basically dumped for fuck's sake. 

Tyson: Yeah, well it is what it is I guess. 

He knows he sounds flippant but he can't be bothered with all the drama and pity right now. In this moment, Tyson is so grateful to his and Gabe's past-selves for deciding not to come out to the public until they were retired because there's no way he could deal with the extra media attention he would receive and all the pitying tweets from fans. At least this way he only has to deal with over-bearing family members and teammates who he knows mean well deep down. 

He ultimately decides it's easier to switch his phone off all together rather than deal with the absolute shit storm currently taking place. He settles on the sofa just channel surfing and tries his best to avoid all the sports channels so he doesn't have to see Gabe's face as the hockey world goes bat-shit crazy over the news. The doorbell rings as he's still deciding on what to watch and he lets out a frustrated groan. It's probably just Nate coming to check on him he figures so he gets up reluctantly and walks down the hall to open the front door. 

When he does open it, he gets a really strong urge to just slam it closed again because of course it's Gabriel fucking Landeskog standing on the other side. He looks like he hasn't slept in days judging by the bags under his eyes and that makes Tyson feel a pang of guilt until he remembers that he does not have any reason to feel guilty whatsoever. This is all Gabe's fault after all. 

"Hey," Gabe says timidly. It's not often that Gabe's the one who looks nervous and out of his depth so Tyson sucks up the moment as much as he can because he's a petty bastard after all. 

"Hey," Tyson replies simply. 

Gabe takes a deep breath before speaking again, "Can- uh, can I come in?" He asks hesitantly. 

Tyson pretends to think it over for a moment just to see Gabe squirm a little before slowly nodding and gesturing for Gabe to come inside. He shuts the door behind them both and heads to the kitchen assuming Gabe will just follow behind him. 

"Do you want coffee?" He asks mostly just so he has something to do with his hands. 

"Sure, thanks." 

Tyson busies himself with brewing the coffee and putting a splash of cream in each mug just how Gabe likes it. Neither of them talk for what seems like forever and it's by far the most awkward encounter he's ever had with Gabe. He can feel Gabe's eyes staring holes in the back of his head but he's reluctant to turn around and make eye-contact with him, staring at the counter just seems like the safer option. 

"I'm leaving in a few days," Gabe blurts out and it sounds so abrupt in the quiet of the kitchen. 

Tyson can't help but whip his head around to stare at Gabe because, "A few days? You're going that soon?" 

"Uh, yeah. I wanted to have plenty of time to move all my things over and get settled and stuff," explains Gabe. 

"Right," is all Tyson says. He feels like he's on a roller coaster with the way his stomach is flipping around sickeningly. He wants to say more, wants to beg Gabe not to leave but what good would that do? It's not going to change anything and the sooner Gabe is gone the sooner Tyson can try and move on with his life. "Here's your coffee," he says handing one of the mugs to Gabe. 

"Thanks," he says with a small smile, "I just came to get some of my stuff and to...you know say goodbye to you." 

Tyson nods, "Well you know where all your shit is, don't let me get in the way of you packing," he says blatantly ignoring the goodbye part. 

"Tys-" Gabe starts. 

"I think we have storage boxes around here somewhere but-" he says cutting Gabe off. 

"Tyson-" 

"I've definitely seen bubble wrap in one of these cupboards too so-" 

"Fucking hell Tyson will you stop?" Gabe voices firmly. 

Tyson's not sure if it's seeing Gabe for the first time in person for days or that the situation has finally hit him but he's suddenly so mad in that moment. Like clenched jaw and flared nostrils kind of mad. 

"What Gabe? What the fuck do you want me to say, huh? You really think we're going to have this big romantic good-bye or that we'll carry on being all lovey-dovey as if nothing's happened? News flash asshole – you're leaving. I will be living here by myself without you because you're fucking leaving. So, excuse me for wanting to avoid this entire conversation because it's breaking my fucking heart Gabe, alright? Is that what you wanted to hear?" He finishes and exhales shakily. He discretely blinks the wetness in his eyes away because he is not going to cry right now, he's not. 

Gabe looks absolutely stricken by his outburst, his mouth is hanging open and his eyes have gone all downturned like they always do when he's upset and Tyson can't bear to look at him right now so he turns away, leaning against the counter again. 

He feels a tentative hand on his shoulder which he immediately shrugs off which in turn makes Gabe sigh sadly. 

"I never meant for any of this to happen. I love you so much, you know I would never intentionally hurt you Tys," Gabe says, his voice barely above a whisper, "But...I still think I need to do this, I need to be away for a while, clear my head. I don't think I can do that here." He finishes. 

All the fight has left them now and Tyson somewhat understands where Gabe is coming from. "Okay," he says and leaves it at that. 

Gabe touches his shoulder again and this time Tyson lets him and suddenly he finds himself being wrapped up in his arms and he buries his face in his neck. Gabe still smells the same, with that expensive spicy cologne he always wears and Tyson aches with how much he's going to miss him. He's so done with the fighting at this point, he just wants everything to be okay between them and if that means being friends to make Gabe happy then he's going to do it – for him. 

 

*** 

It's pretty late by the time they finish boxing most of Gabe's stuff up. It would probably have been a much shorter process if they hadn't both got distracted by old photos and other memorabilia that they started reminiscing to themselves about. They find photo-frames of selfies they took on their first few dates together way back when Gabe had only been with the Avs for a season. Tyson would be embarrassed at the way he's looking at Gabe with the fondest fucking expression if it wasn't for Gabe looking at him the exact same way. 

Then there's the collection of Swedish-themed T-shirts Tyson used to buy for Gabe every year for his birthday as a long standing inside joke between them. Each one of them are ugly monstrosities that have the most ridiculous slogans like 'YOU SHOULD TASTE MY SWEDISH (MEAT)BALLS' but they make Tyson laugh anyway as he thinks back to Gabe's smiling face every time he opened his presents to reveal a T-shirt from hell right after he received his birthday blowjob (another excellent tradition they had.) 

Even the stupidest shit just brings back so many memories and makes him realize just how much they've been through together and Tyson catches Gabe looking at his things multiple times with a reminiscent expression on his face and he knows he's thinking the same thing. 

They move all the boxes to the boot of Gabe's car that's parked out front until it's crammed full of six years' worth of memories. Once it's all done neither of them say anything for a moment, they just look at each other completely unsure of what to say. Gabe's the one who breaks first as he lunges forward and brings him into a tight embrace. Tyson clutches the back of his sweatshirt and tries not to think about how this might be the last time he gets to do this if Gabe decides to never come back. They stay locked together for what feels like a lifetime until Gabe presses a light kiss to his temple and strokes his thumb along the curve of his ear before releasing his grip entirely. 

"Don't be a stranger okay?" He says and Tyson just nods because he doesn't trust himself to speak right now. 

Gabe gives him one last sad smile before making his way towards his car and getting inside. Tyson goes back into the house before Gabe starts the engine because he can't bear the thought of having to watch him drive away. He shuts the front door behind him and thumps his head against it as he tries to breathe normally. It's the first time he lets himself cry since this whole thing started. 

 

*** 

Lying in bed that night he feels like a total stereotype because he's lying on Gabe's usual side of the bed to breathe in his smell and let's just say he's glad there's nobody around to watch him be so pathetically mopey. 

Now that all of Gabe's stuff is officially gone he realizes how much stuff didn't belong to him in the first place and notes that he'll actually have to make a trip to Ikea because his place feels totally empty now. There's probably a metaphor in there somewhere about how Tyson just feels empty generally without Gabe but he can't be bothered to read into that right now, not when he already feels like shit. 

The thing is, this was definitely the most mature break-up he's ever gone through even if it's made him feel the worst by far. He's been with both girls and guys who he's had screaming matches with before one of them dramatically storms out and blocks the other on all social media platforms. This time feels different. There was a little shouting at first sure, but in the end they just...parted ways. Tyson puts it down to them both having huge amounts of love and respect for each other still and therefore not wanting to hurt one another. Tyson knows he's doing the right thing by letting Gabe do what he feels he needs to do to sort his shit out even if it stings like a bitch. He likes to think he's not naïve but there's still a part of him that knows this can't be the end. It just can't. 

He rolls over to check the time on the alarm clock and sees that it's nearing 3:30am and settles himself in for a long night. 

 

*** 

Days come and go and Tyson's twitter feed tells him that Gabe landed in Sweden on a Saturday morning – one week since Gabe first told him he wasn't staying in Colorado - and will start training with his team as soon as possible. He was tempted to mute anyone who even mentions Gabe's name but ultimately decided against it as he still wants to know that Gabe's doing okay out there. 

Nate has been a constant presence since Gabe left which Tyson both appreciates and finds extremely irritating. He understands that Nate has good intentions and is just trying his best to cheer him up but there are some days where Tyson just wants to wallow in misery by himself while binge watching The Real Housewives damn it. 

It seems like most of the guys on the team are walking on eggshells around him trying not to say anything that might upset him which means he's mostly receiving random dog and baby pics in an attempt to make him less miserable. He'd never admit it to them but he does love his team dearly. 

He probably shouldn't have been that surprised when his doorbell rings one night and he opens the door to find Nate and EJ standing there with boxes of pizza and six-packs of beer in their hands, wearing large grins on their faces. 

"There's our boy!" EJ crows enthusiastically and Tyson barely suppresses an eyeroll. 

"What are you guys doing here?" He asks miserably. 

Their grins droop a little which admittedly makes Tyson feel a bit guilty until they decide to just push past him and invite themselves into his house and then he remembers that his friends are dicks. 

"We're having a boys night-in dude!" Exclaims Nate, "We've got pizza, we've got beer and we rented Die Hard. It's gonna be the best slumber party ever," he says excitedly and EJ nods along enthusiastically too. 

"You rented a movie? You do realise Netflix is a thing, right? I didn't even know you could still rent movies," He says incredulously. 

Nate rolls his eyes but they both ignore him otherwise and flop down on his couch putting their feet up on the coffee table and placing the beer and food next to them. Nate pats the empty space left in the middle of the couch signaling for Tyson to sit down which he does without comment because there's no point even trying to argue with these two – he learnt that lesson many years ago. 

"Look bud, we know things are shitty for you right now but we're both gonna try our fucking best to cheer you up no matter what it takes. So, what do you say? Slumber party?" Nate asks and they both stare at him with hopeful eyes. 

"Slumber party," Tyson agrees somewhat reluctantly and they actually cheer like the dorks they are. 

EJ gets up and puts the disc in the DVD player setting it up while Nate opens beers for all of them and Tyson starts digging into the pizza. Once Nate hands over the beer Tyson chugs like half of it within seconds which makes Nate look concerned for a second before he shrugs. 

"I guess if you feel like getting drunk we all should, right? Bros helping bros and all that" suggests Nate. 

"Hell yeah!" Agrees EJ,"Tys you got any liquor?" 

"Yeah I think there's some vodka in the kitchen somewhere I'll be right back," he says and gets up to go to the kitchen. 

While he's looking for the vodka he can hear the boys bickering about which Die Hard movie is the best and he can't help but smile to himself. He really does appreciate all the effort they've made to try and make him feel better and it's actually working for the time being considering it's better than being by himself. Getting drunk also sounds like a very appealing option and he's pleasantly surprised to see there actually more than half of the vodka left which is even better. 

He enters the living room again vodka and shot glasses in hand and finds that they've stopped arguing because the movie has started so he settles back in his spot and pours them all a shot each. 

"We should do a shot every time a bullet is fired!" EJ suggests like it's the best idea he's ever had. 

"Do you want us all to fucking die?" Tyson exclaims shaking his head at him in disbelief and Nate bursts out laughing. 

"You're such a dumbass EJ," Nate says through giggles. 

"Hey! Fuck you! You're totally a bigger dumbass than me." 

Tyson rolls his eyes at them which he knows is going to happen a lot tonight, "Both of you shut up and do the shot," he says to them exasperatedly. 

They both do as their told and they all knock back the vodka at the same time. Tyson winces as it burns his throat and leaves a bitter taste in his mouth. 

"Jesus, I forgot how bad shots are," Nate says looking equally as disgusted. 

"Why are you guys acting like the old men huh? I'm the one in his thirties! You should be doing shots with ease like college kids do," EJ says smirking and downs another one just to prove his point. 

"Show off," Tyson mutters then he and Nate do another one to catch up with him. 

 

*** 

Three beers each and eighteen shots between them later, it's safe to say they're all pretty fucking buzzed. At this point, the movie has been abandoned and they're just talking shit instead about anything that springs to mind. 

Right now, they're thoroughly discussing who has the better hockey ass between Crosby and Toews. 

"Oh my god! Do you realize how wrong you are right now?" Tyson exclaims to Nate, "Toews has a nice ass yeah, but Crosby's is powerful. He has a powerful ass," He says earnestly and EJ high-fives him. At least someone has good taste. 

"We're not talking about power though, we're talking about aesthetic and Toews wins that one hands down. His hip to ass ratio was sculpted by the gods themselves," argues Nate. 

"That is so not true-" 

"Alright enough!" Exclaims EJ, "We've been discussing this for hours, can we just agree that Crosby's ass is more powerful but Toews' ass is more aesthetically pleasing and be done with this conversation?" He asks and looks at them both pleadingly. 

Tyson and Nate both look at each other and nod reluctantly which makes EJ sigh in relief. 

They stop talking for a few seconds before Tyson blurts, "Gabe has a really nice ass," which makes the boys groan loudly. "What? He does!" 

"Dude, the purpose of this slumber party is for you to forget about Gabe and just have fun with your boys. Rule number one is literally don't talk about Gabe," EJ reminds him. 

He sighs and sniffs a little "I know," he starts softly, "I just miss him a lot that's all." He finishes and even he can hear how small he sounds. 

Nate and EJ share a concerned look over his head having a conversation with just their eyes before nodding in agreement about something. 

"I know you do bud, we all miss him right now trust me. Let's just drink more yeah? We can worry about all that another day when it's not so fresh," suggests Nate wrapping a comforting arm around his shoulder. 

He agrees easily because being drunker sounds super appealing right now and EJ rewinds the movie so they can actually pay attention to the bits they missed last time. The three of them relax into the couch which probably looks ridiculous seeing as they're three huge professional hockey players snuggled up on one regular sized sofa but he doesn't care. They drink more and laugh at EJ when he recites his favourite bits by heart and it's the best Tyson has felt in a while. 

 

*** 

When Tyson wakes up face down on his sofa the next day it's 11:30am and he feels like he's dying. He honestly has no idea why he thought he could handle that much alcohol when he doesn't have to tolerance of a college kid anymore. He notices a bottle of water and Advil on the coffee table and could honestly cry out of sheer happiness. He downs most of the water and takes the Advil and then sees a note left on the table. 

Tys, 

EJ and I headed home early to let you get some much-needed rest after last night. 

Hopefully you don't feel too shitty but you did drink a LOT of vodka! We left water and Advil on the table for you because we're the best bros ever. 

Talk to you later, 

Love your boys 

xoxo 

Tyson smiles despite himself because that was a genuinely kind gesture from them both and he feels a little more human after hydrating himself. He reaches for his phone on the table and puts the brightness on the lowest it will go because he feels like his head has been bludgeoned with a hammer. 

He notices Nate has tagged him in a photo on Instagram and sees that it's of the three of them from last night glassy-eyed and smiling after a few drinks in. To Tyson's dismay, Nate captioned it 'Slumber party with my BFFs <33' because he's a complete tool. He likes the photo anyway and is about to comment when he sees that Gabe already has, saying 'Looking good boys' and he feels betrayed by the way his stomach flutters at a simple Instagram comment. 

He gets distracted and clicks on Gabe's profile and the latest post is of him posing with his family in his new teams jersey and he looks...happy. Tyson isn't that much of an asshole to begrudge him looking happy while spending time with his family but there's still something that twists in his gut as he looks at Gabe's wide grin. It would be hypocritical of him anyway as Gabe could say that Tyson also looks pretty happy in Nate's post even if he really isn't. 

Clicking on Gabe's profile was a huge mistake he realizes ten minutes later when he's managed to scroll to the bottom of his feed like a major stalker. There's a shit load of photos of the two of them – nothing too raunchy obviously because they're not out to the public yet but he knows that a large amount of them were taken on dates that they managed to play off as just 'bros and roommates hanging out.' 

He clicks off the page and shuts off his phone before he spirals even further and ends up accidentally liking a picture from three years ago which would be beyond mortifying. Instead he decides to cook himself the greasiest breakfast possible to cure his beast of a hangover, diet plan be damned. 

 

*** 

The off season continues to pass by day by day and Tyson spends most of his time just working out in the gym with his personal trainer and he’s finally started to be more strict with his diet again (mostly because he’s scared the team nutritionist will yell at home otherwise.) 

With Gabe gone from the Avalanche, management at the Avs has been a little hectic trying to find someone to fill the gaping hole on their team without him. There’s some speculation on social media as to who will be offered the captaincy – if anyone – but he really couldn’t care less about that. It wouldn’t really feel right with someone else being their captain no matter how good of a leader they are. It would be impossible to replicate the relationship Gabe had with the team and the fans. 

Tyson’s mom keeps asking him when he’s planning on heading back to Victoria because the season did end just over a month ago. Usually by this time, both him and Gabe have made their way to Victoria to visit Tyson’s family and that’s where they would stay for a while before visiting Gabe’s family in Sweden. Maybe that’s why he’s so reluctant to go home, because even though it’s his family it would still feel weird without Gabe next to him on the plan ride over and then answering questions on why Gabe isn't there. 

Despite the weirdness, Tyson decides he’s put the visit off for long enough and books his flight to Victoria, sending a text to his mom to let her know he’ll be there real soon. That gives him enough time to pack his stuff for the few weeks he’ll be staying there. 

He discovers that packing is actually much easier without Gabe there distracting him just by being his usual gorgeous self so Tyson is able to fill his suitcases in record time the next day and is pretty much ready to get the hell out of Colorado. 

He sends a quick text to Nate and EJ letting them know he’s leaving town and that he’ll make plans with them as soon as they’re all back in Denver again. Weirdly, he’s actually going to miss them a lot this offseason. They’ve been good to him. 

The flight over is as weird as he expected it would be considering it’s the first time he’s done it alone for years. He catches himself about to make conversation with Gabe who’s sitting next to him – except he’s obviously not sitting next to him, Tyson is by himself and he would look like a crazy person if he started talking to the window on his right. It’s a pretty miserable flight all in all but he has to admit that seeing his parents for the first time in months makes it worth all the shit. 

 

*** 

“Hey mom,” he says greeting her and bringing her into a big hug when he arrives at the house. 

She squeezes him back and gives him a big kiss on the cheek, “I’m so glad you’re finally back, I’ve missed you!” She tells him cheerfully. 

He feels guilty for putting this off for so long when he knows she misses him when he’s in Colorado. He gives her one last squeeze and then lets go and she turns around and heads into the kitchen with Tyson following close behind. 

“Smells good,” he says and she grins at him before turning to the stove and stirring whatever is cooking in the pot. 

“That's because your mother's making her famous spaghetti bolognaise,” his dad informs him as he steps into the kitchen. He pulls Tyson into a brief hug and says, “good to see you kid.” 

“You too Dad.” 

“I’m sorry about your season, it sucks but you’ll get ‘em next year,” says his dad trying to be reassuring but hockey is literally the last thing he wants to talk about right now so Tyson just nods his head and doesn’t speak. 

His mom looks like she wants to say something by the way she’s looking at him all concerned and Tyson guesses it was only a matter of time before Gabe was brought up. 

“So…do you want to talk about it?” She asks him hesitantly, turning around to face him. 

He sighs heavily and avoids their eyes, “There’s not much to say mom.” 

“Oh honey,” she starts moving closer and wrapping an arm around his shoulder which looks ridiculous as he’s like twice her size. “I don’t understand it, I thought you two were happy, no?” she asks. 

“Well that’s what I thought too,” says Tyson and chuckles self-deprecatingly, “I don’t know, he obviously wasn’t as happy as I thought." 

“It’s his loss son,” says his dad shaking his head. “Plenty more fish in the sea, eh?” 

Tyson does laugh a little at that because it’s so cliché but he appreciates the effort. “Yeah it is what it is. I’m fine though, I promise,” He says reassuringly. 

His mom doesn’t look very convinced and neither does his dad but thankfully they drop it and start catching him up on all the stuff he’s missed while he’s been gone. Listening to stories about the stupid shit his sister has done and the plumbing problem they’ve had for months which just won’t quit is strangely comforting and settles him immensely. 

He just hopes he manages to avoid any conversations that mention Gabe’s name for the entire time he’s here that’s all. 

Gabe was part of the family all most with how often they stayed at Tyson's parent's place. He got to know them really well - including his sister - and they all got along too which is godsend because the Barries know how to argue but it was always easy with Gabe. He knows his mom loved Gabe especially and Tyson sometimes felt like she preferred him to her own children sometimes so this break-up has literally had effects on almost everyone he knows and it sucks. 

 

*** 

His phone starts blaring at some time in the morning one week into staying with his parents. He lets out a frustrated groan because it’s way too early for him to be awake if his alarm hasn’t even gone off yet. He sits up and fumbles to answer it quickly without checking the caller ID so the sound doesn’t wake his parents up too. 

“What?” He snaps moodily. If it’s Nate or EJ drunk calling him at – 6am he sees when he looks at his alarm clock – then he’s going to kill them. 

“Tyson! Hey babe!” Says the voice which he immediately recognizes as Gabe’s and he feels his heart stutter to his annoyance. 

“Gabe what the fuck? It’s 6am,” he says exasperatedly not at all in the mood to put up with this shit. 

“Oh. I’m- I'm really sorry, I forgot about the time difference,” Gabe says which he obviously finds funny judging by the way he starts giggling. “It’s only 12am here, isn’t that so cool?” he says and starts laughing again. 

Tyson realizes he’s drunk off his ass, drunk enough to actually phone Tyson in the middle of the night and call him babe. 

“Gabe you’re drunk, drink some water and go to bed.” 

“I’m not drunk!” He says slurring, “I promise I’m- I'm not. I wouldn’t lie to you babe,” 

Tyson can hear loud talking and music in the background so he assumes Gabe’s at a party or something. Fuck his life honestly. 

“Gabe seriously, go home. Also, don’t call me babe,” He adds growing tired of this conversation quickly. 

“But you are my babe,” he says and then to Tyson’s dismay he starts singing “Babe, I got you babe,” really off-key and god Tyson hates that UB40 song so much. 

“I’m hanging up now,” he informs Gabe and goes to press the end call button. 

Gabe stops singing abruptly and says, “No wait!” 

Tyson hesitates. He really should just hang up because this whole thing is ridiculous but also, it’s the first time he’s actually heard Gabe’s voice in nearly two weeks which is what makes him sigh and say, “Yes?” 

“I love you,” Gabe tells him and the butterflies in Tyson’s stomach appear in full force. 

“I know,” he sighs. 

“You’ve gotta say it back, that’s the rules!” Gabe shouts down the phone so Tyson can hear him over the increasing background noise of the party. 

Tyson does love him, of course he fucking does. But, he’s not about to tell him that when Gabe is so drunk he won’t even remember this conversation and he’s 5,000 miles away having fun at a party in fucking Sweden. So, he does the rational thing and hangs up instead and does not picture Gabe’s sad little pout when he realizes Tyson hung up without saying it back. 

He is trying so hard to move on but Gabe’s making it almost impossible. How the hell can he not be hung up on him when he does stuff like that? Tyson doesn’t have an answer. 

 

*** 

"Morning honey." is the first thing his mom says to him when he walks into the kitchen rubbing his eyes blearily. "Sleep okay?" She asks. 

He takes a seat on one of the stools by the counter and yawns widely, "Not really, I've been up since like 6am," he answers. 

"Did the neighbours start mowing their lawn really early again?" 

"No mom," he chuckles. "It's- uh, Gabe called me," He tells her. 

She raises her eyebrows at that, "I assumed you two weren't speaking." 

"We're not. He was drunk and wasn't thinking clearly I assume." 

"You know," she starts taking a seat next to him. "I've always really like Gabe. He's handsome, charming and always treated you like a prince. But right now...he's being an idiot and I hope he knows that," She says sternly. 

Tyson nods when she's finished, "Yeah I know. There's still a huge part of me that hopes it's not really over you know? That he's just having some sort of mid-life crisis and needs to sort shi- stuff out before he comes back. But then there's another part of me that wants to just move on in case he never does come back and I just- I don't know what to do." 

She tugs his head down to rest on her shoulder and caresses a hand through his hair softly. "I hate seeing you so upset. I can't tell you what the right decision is because it's up to you but I can tell you that that boy does love you. I can see it okay? Even if he is being stupid right now." 

Tyson supposes she's right and just keeps his head rested on her shoulder for a little while like he used to do when he was a kid. His mom gives excellent advice most of the time and this is no different, he just wishes they didn't have to talk about this at all. He just wishes Gabe was there with him. 

 

*** 

Tyson leaves his parents' house two weeks later to his mom's dismay but there's only a little over a month left of the season and he really needs to get back to Colorado to start his training. He's reluctant to leave after two weeks of being pretty much pampered and well looked after by his mom while also spending much needed quality time with his dad on fishing trips and hikes. There were several times where he forgot about Gabe completely and he was just happy to be back home but then he'd see only three plates being set out on the dinner table and realize someone was missing all over again. Gabe also hasn't contacted him since the drunken phone call so he assumes he was either too drunk to remember or too embarrassed to even acknowledge it happened. Both scenarios suck. 

When he gets back, his house is clean and the fridge is stocked thanks to his housekeeper so all he has to do is put the heating and the TV on as he settles back in. The house still feels way too big and lonely for just one person but he can't bring himself to leave it let alone look at other properties with estate agents. He just doesn't have the energy for that. 

Twitter tells him that Gabe is in the midst of training just when it starts to get more intense in preparation for the start of the season. Tyson thinks the Swedish ice-hockey season starts earlier than it does in the NHL but he's not entirely sure. Either way, Gabe is training hard and he looks really good as per usual. He supposes you can't really tell what's reality from Instagram but if Tyson had to guess, he'd say that Gabe is having a good time back home. 

With nothing else to do, Tyson throws himself into working out. He's at the gym every day and goes for a run every morning. Working out has always been pretty therapeutic for him, it's like the only time his brain really switches off and just focuses on...well, not Gabe. 

He figures it was only a matter of time before Nate decided to force him to hang out again and he's proved right when he arrives at his door unannounced once again. This time he's dressed smarter, in a shirt and a nice pair of jeans and Tyson instantly groans because he knows that outfit. Nate only wears that outfit when- 

"We're going to a club! Put some nicer clothes on, you look like shit," He informs him and pushes past Tyson and into his house giving him a strange sense of déjà vu. 

"Not fucking happening!" He calls, shutting the front door and following after him. Nate the bastard has decided to go straight to his bedroom and is flicking through the shirts hung up in his closet. "I'm serious. I'm not going," Tyson says again. 

"Sure you're not," says Nate rolling his eyes. He picks out a plain white shirt and tosses it at Tyson's chest. "Put this on." 

"Uh hello? I am not going to a fucking club tonight Nate," He says firmly. 

"Oh I'm sorry," Nate starts sarcastically. "I didn't realize you had very important plans tonight that include moping around on your couch like a sad bastard." 

"Fuck you," Tyson replies weakly knowing he's already this battle, "I might have had plans." 

"Okay now you're just being ridiculous," Nate scoffs. 

He heavily sighs and takes his T-shirt off, replacing it with the white shirt Nate picked out. "Better?" He asks prissily. 

"Much," Nate answers with a smile and a decisive nod, "I can't find your jeans so the ones you're wearing will have to do. Go put on some cologne, do something with your hair, brush your teeth. I'll be waiting downstairs," He tells Tyson and heads back down the stairs again. 

"Okay mom." he mutters to himself but does what Nate told him to do anyway. 

 

*** 

"Why does the music have to be so fucking loud?" Tyson shouts in Nate's ear so he can hear him. 

Nate just shrugs and tries to get the bartenders attention to order them some beers. Tyson notices that the bartender is like smoking hot when he walks over with this quiet confidence and intense blue eyes. He's no Gabe obviously but still attractive nonetheless. 

"What can I get you?" He asks them and he somehow makes it sound sexy. Tyson swallows audibly and stares stupidly at him while Nate thankfully orders because he doesn't trust himself to speak around hot strangers at all. The bartender nods and busies himself with pouring the drinks and Tyson does not stare at the tattoos spiraling up his arms as they flex when he pulls the beer tap. 

"That'll be $6.90," he informs them and wow Tyson has never heard someone say the price of beer in such a sultry way before, he's actually pretty impressed. He thinks Gabe would be good at making mundane things sound sexy too with the way his voice is all deep and gravelly sometimes. 

Nate pays and they make their way over to an empty booth in a quieter and more secluded corner where they settle down. He looks over to Nate seeing him already looking back with a knowing smirk on his face which makes Tyson immediately blush. 

"What?" He asks innocently. He has to be like and inch away from Nate's face just so he can hear him over the shitty techno music. 

"You were totally checking him out!" He shouts with a shit-eating grin. 

"I was not! And anyway, so what? He was hot," Tyson says defensively. 

"Hey I never said he wasn't it's just good to see you getting back out there dude." 

Tyson scoffs, "Yeah I don't think so. Like I thought 'he's hot' when I saw him and then thought 'but he's not Gabe' right after so," he shrugs. 

Nate keeps his gaze on him for a while before asking, "So I guess this means you won't be picking up tonight?" 

"Is that why you brought me here?" 

Nate looks sheepish and Tyson splutters, "You seriously thought I was gonna pick up at this sketchy club when I'm still not over Gabe?" 

"I don't know! I thought it might work- fuck away your feelings or whatever but obviously it was a stupid idea," Nate says and Tyson can't help but laugh. 

"Of course it was a stupid idea, you're a pretty stupid guy," He jokes. 

Nate gasps pretending to be offended, "and here I thought I was being a good bro," He pouts. 

"Nope, you're pretty much the worst." He says which is mostly a lie. 

"First of all, fuck you," he replies. "Second of all, it has been like two months since he left Tys." Says Nate suddenly making the conversation more serious. 

"Don't you think I fucking know that?" He asks aggressively. 

Nate holds his hands up in defense, "All I'm saying is- you have to move on eventually. What happens when Gabe moves on and you still haven't?" 

The thought of Gabe being with someone that's not him literally makes him want to stick pins in his eyes, he's not telling Nate that though. "I don't think that's gonna happen anytime soon either," He says instead. 

"What's that supposed to mean?" Nate says raising and eyebrow at him. 

Tyson sighs, "He called me when I was at my parents' house. He was drunk off his ass and told me he still loved me basically." Nate's eyes grow wide at that, "He hasn't said a word about it since though so he probably doesn't even remember it happened." 

"Well shit." 

Well shit indeed. 

 

*** 

It's finally the first game of the season and it's their home debut against the Wild. Tyson is feeling pumped to say the least. He's really missed hockey especially during the worst off-season ever and he's been working real hard for the past month to make sure his body's in good shape for the season. 

"Let's go boys!" EJ shouts in the locker room as they all make their way through the tunnel onto the ice, fist-bumping and ass slapping each other along the way. 

The game actually goes really well. Tyson shouldn't be that surprised but everything else has gone to shit for him lately so he kind of thought hockey would do the same but hockey is once again the only constant in his life that he can count on. Even just having a set routine again is doing wonders for his general well-being. They manage to beat the Wild 3-1 and he gets a sweet assist during the final period. The feeling of crashing into his teammates against the boards with their fans cheering all around the arena makes him feel good again. 

The atmosphere in the locker room is buzzing. Only a few of the boys decide to go out after the game though, most of them deciding to take it easy and head home instead because it's only the first game and they can't get too carried away after all. Tyson is bone-deep exhausted – the kind of exhaustion he only feels after a good game of hockey so decides to pass upon hitting the clubs too. 

Tyson unlocks his front door stepping inside toeing off his shoes and discarding his suit jacket and tie. He collapses onto his couch unceremoniously and puts his feet up onto the coffee table – something Gabe used to complain about all the time. He aches all over but it's the good kind of ache – the kind that shows he's worked hard and put effort into something. 

His phone buzzes next to him signaling that he's got a message from someone. He picks up his phone and his breath catches in his throat when he sees that it's from Gabe. 

Gabe: Nice assist! 

That's all it says but it's still enough to have him grinning like a complete moron. 

Tyson: Thanks. You watched the game? He replies. 

Gabe: Of course. You looked really good out there. 

Tyson blushes at the praise and his stomach flips. He knows Gabe isn't drunk this time either because when he tries to text while drunk his messages become an undecipherable mix of English and Swedish. He's also kind of shocked that Gabe bothered to watch the game considering his own season started a few weeks ago and Tyson hasn't been able to bring himself to watch a single period of Gabe in a different jersey, scoring for another team, celebrating with guys who aren't the Avs. 

Tyson: Thanks, I guess I've been training harder lol. 

He barely has to wait ten seconds before Gabe's reply come through. 

Gabe: Well it definitely shows. 

It's probably wishful thinking on Tyson's behalf but it sounds like Gabe's flirting with him. Tyson mulls over how to reply before he realizes that Gabe's typing already. The grey speech bubble keeps disappearing then appearing again so Tyson just waits him out. 

Gabe: I miss you. So much. 

Tyson shakily exhales when he reads that. Five simple words but they have such a big effect on him. 

'I miss you too.' He types out and then debates whether he should actually hit send. He would be lying if he said he didn't miss him and he'd be lying even more if he said that he's not pleased that Gabe misses him too. The only hesitance he has is that they're not together anymore and this isn't how exes are mean to talk to each other at all. 

Fuck it, he thinks and hits send anyway. Then, he switches his phone off and lays down on the couch staring up at the ceiling; his brain running a thousand miles a minute. 

He's pretty sick of the back-and-forth between them. He's especially sick of the mixed signals Gabe keeps giving him. One minute they aren't saying a word to each other and the next they're practically flirting over text. Tyson needs to know where he stands with people, that's just how it's always been and right now is definitely no exception. He needs clarity so he can either move on from Gabe or figure out how to work shit out with him, not this confusing thing they have going on at the moment. Tyson figures if things carry on this way then he'll grow some balls and bring it up with Gabe himself as soon as possible. 

Not right now though. All he plans on doing right now is passing the hell out. 

 

*** 

It's been a few days since that weird text exchange happened with Gabe and Tyson has pretty much just ignored it and pretended it didn't happen. He contemplated telling Nate or EJ about it but decided against it because they're probably sick to death of hearing about Tyson's tragic love-life by now. It's not like Gabe even replied so there isn't boat-loads to tell anyway. So, he does the mature thing and shoves it deep down inside, not touching it with a ten-foot pole just like he does with most Gabe-related memories. 

Well, he does that until he can't do it anymore because he hears the sound of an in-coming Skype call on his laptop and gets the shock of his life when he sees that it's Gabe calling. 

The piece of egg salad he was about to eat drops off his fork as he jerks in shock, mouth wide open. Why the fuck would Gabe Skype him? He racks his brain for any kind of explanation – maybe Gabe called him by mistake or it’s an emergency of some sort? Both options seem unlikely but there’s no way Gabe would Skype him just because he wanted to…right? 

He ponders whether to answer or not - his eyebrows furrowed - until he decides he's being an idiot because as if he's going to pass up the opportunity to see Gabe's face. That's also when he realizes that he's just been staring at the screen and the call is about to end if he doesn't answer right now so he lunges forward and quickly presses the answer button. 

Gabe's eyes grow wide when he sees him as if he didn't expect Tyson to actually answer but he quickly recovers and a huge grin spreads on his face which Tyson is pretty sure he's reciprocating already. 

"Hi," Gabe greets him breathily. 

"Hey," Tyson says, his voice barely above a whisper. 

“I- uh…I was- " Gabe stutters and then stops completely. Just stares for a moment taking him all in. “Fuck you look good,” He blurts. 

Tyson feels his cheeks going bright red immediately as he casts his eyes downward shyly. “Uh, thanks,” he says awkwardly. 

“Sorry,” Gabe apologizes looking embarrassed. “I didn’t mean to say that.” 

“Don't worry about it,” Tyson says brushing it off quickly. “So, can I help you or...?” He asks trying to break the awkward air between them. 

Gabe rubs the back of his neck with his hand – a nervous habit that that Tyson has seen him do a thousand times. “I just wanted to talk to you I guess. Hear your voice,” he says timidly. 

“You heard my voice when you called me a few weeks ago,” Tyson reminds him by accident. He hadn’t planned on bringing up that conversation at all in order for him to save himself the embarrassment of Gabe not remembering the conversation at all. 

“About that…I really didn’t mean for that to happen. The boys plied me with tequila and you know how I get when I drink that stuff. Anyway, I’m sorry, it was probably annoying for you eh?” he says and chuckles albeit a bit humorlessly. 

Tyson nods along because he does know what tequila does to Gabe. “It’s okay. I’m surprised you even remember it at all,” he chirps. 

Gabe blushed further. “I wasn’t that bad!” He says defensively and rolls his eyes but he still has a huge grin on his face so it loses its effect. 

“Okay sure. You totally didn’t start singing UB40 or anything,” Tyson says sarcastically. 

Gabe groans loudly and throws his head back. “Fuck, did I really do that?” 

Tyson starts laughing thinking back to Gabes truly horrific singing voice. “You totally did that,” he says through giggles. 

Gabe looks embarrassed but also so fucking happy judging by his wide grin that hasn’t faltered once. He’s looking at Tyson with fond eyes and it’s just so much to be the subject of that gaze. It's overwhelming how they can still talk like this with an ease between them both despite, well everything. 

"Anyway," Gabe says clearing his throat. "How are you doing?" 

It's a super loaded question that warrants a hundred different responses. Tyson could tell the truth – say he misses Gabe like crazy and would take him back in a heartbeat. Or, he could keep it vague, keep it friendly and save himself the embarrassment of looking totally pathetic in front of his ex whom he's still head-over-heels in love with. 

"Uh...good. I'm good," he says going with the second option. "Hockey is feeling good so that's...good," 

"You wanna say the word good one more time?" Gabe teases him making Tyson blush once again. 

"Shut up," he argues but he's smiling. "How have you been?" 

"You want an honest answer?" He asks giving Tyson such an intense look. 

"Of course," 

"I feel...like shit honestly," Gabe answers bluntly. "That's why I called actually, I wanted to talk to you face-to-face." 

"What are you talking about Gabe?" Asks Tyson furrowing his eyebrows in confusion. 

"Fuck I don't even know- I just miss you so much you don't even know," he says sincerely. 

Tyson runs a hand through his hair and sighs. "Gabe it was your decision to move in the first place." 

"I know that. I just- I don't even know what I was thinking? Last season really wore me down. It literally just sucked the fucking life out of me it was so bad. Everything was making me either miserable or pissed off and I just felt- fucking shitty. I felt really fucking shitty," Gabe says all in one breath. "Nothing was changing. I kept waking up hoping that I'd finally be out of this slump I was in but it never came Tys. At the time I thought a move would be good, that change would be good and it was good at first until it slowly became definitely not good," he finishes. 

"Gabe..." Tyson says lost for words. "I had no idea you felt like that," he says dumbfounded. 

"I didn't want to cause a big drama or anything that's all," replies Gabe. 

"Talking about how you feel isn't a big drama. You know I would've listened to you right?" He asks softly. 

Gabe has been looking down at his hands for most of this conversation to avoid eye-contact like he always does when he feels awkward but he finally meets Tyson's eyes when he says that. "I know you would've. I just- I really didn't know what to do. Still don't fucking know what to do," he admits and exhales heavily. 

"Well...how do you feel now? About hockey and the Avs...and me?" He asks the last part hesitantly. 

Gabe thinks about his answer for a moment. I feel like moving to Sweden was actually a blessing in disguise," says Gabe and Tyson's stomach drops when he hears that. "I think I needed to do it because in the end it made me realize that hockey can be as shitty as it wants, as long as you and I are good then I shouldn't care about stuff that's out of my hands. I don't care about anything else." He finishes. 

"So... what are you saying Gabe?" Asks Tyson nervously. 

"I'm saying that I miss you Tyson. I got so caught up in 'hockey hockey hockey' all the damn time that I forgot that hockey is just one part of my life, not all of it. Like, yeah, some games with the Avs might make me feel awful but so do some games here in Sweden too, you know? The only difference is I have you in Colorado. My head was just so far up my ass four months ago I couldn't see it that way. You have no idea how many times I've just wanted to catch the next flight out of Sweden to come and see you." 

Tyson honestly wants to cry right now. "I need you to promise me that next time you're feeling down, you'll come and talk to me Gabe. Or, I dunno- we'll take a spontaneous trip somewhere, like Rome to get you out of your own head, okay? I just need you to know that I wanna support you, no matter what," Tyson tells him sincerely. 

Gabe gives him a small smile and nods. "I really am feeling a lot better than I was. I promise I won't keep it wrapped up next time though." 

"Okay," Tyson nods satisfied. "Where does that leave us then?" 

Gabe bites his lip, thinking. "I'll see what I can do," he answers after a moment. 

Tyson isn't entirely sure what that means but he feels much better after this much-needed conversation that's for sure. He wanted clarity and he's pretty sure that's what he just got. 

 

*** 

They end their Skype call a little while later after exchanging stories that they missed and just generally catching up. 

Once Tyson has logged off and shut his laptop he just sits in the quiet of his house for a while, going over their conversation – specifically all the stuff Gabe told him. 

He can't believe Gabe was feeling so miserable for so long and Tyson didn't even notice until it was too late and Gabe was leaving. Gabe was stuck in a rut, unhappy with hockey and needed change. Tyson feels like he understands the situation much clearer now, like somebody has given him a new perspective on the whole thing. 

He knows what it's like to have bad games and bad seasons which make you question the point in still playing when nothing's changing and it's certainly not improving either. There have been seasons where some of his best buds were traded by a management run so poorly but nobody doing anything to make it better. Tyson just understands basically, and he just wants Gabe to know that he does. He wants Gabe to know that he's there for him, that he loves him and that he will listen. He just wants Gabe there with him, more than ever in that moment. 

Tyson isn't stupid. He knows that even if Gabe moves back to Colorado things won't be all sunshine and rainbows again straight away. They'll have to work at their relationship again, communicate better and more often and generally learn from the mistakes they made that led to Gabe needing to leave. He knows they'll be better this time, even if the Avs' performance on the ice isn't. 

In short, he needs Gabe to get his ass on a plane back to Denver asap. 

 

*** 

When he's awoken from his nap the next day because of his phone bleeping it's like déjà vu. His screen keeps lighting up every two seconds showing him alerts and messages and yeah, last time that happened it was because of Gabe's departure from the Avs being announced. 

Given the track record of reasons why his phone would be going crazy, nobody could blame him for being nervous when he picks his phone up and once again it's news about Gabe just like he had suspected. 

'Gabriel Landeskog's contract with Djurgårdens has been terminated.' Is what one of the tweets he reads says. 

Tyson honestly feels like his heart has dropped into his stomach when he reads it. He re-reads the statement over and over again until it starts to actually sink in. 

"What the fuck?" He whispers to himself. 

Gabe did say he'd 'see what he could do' but Tyson definitely didn't think it would be so soon. Then again, Gabe is pretty fucking impulsive when he wants to be to say the least. 

He starts laughing to himself a little hysterically and he's glad there's nobody there to see him do it because that would be prime chirping material for sure. He just feels so happy right now because this has to mean Gabe's coming home, it has to- 

The doorbell rings. 

Tyson's heart rate spikes and if that keeps happening he's pretty sure he'll have a heart attack eventually but- that could be Gabe at his front door. The Gabe he hasn't seen in person for like four months. The Gabe he misses like a fucking hole in the head. 

He bolts it down the stairs to the front door and has a moment of panic when he realises it might just be Nate or EJ at the door looking for gossip but he flings the door open anyway and- there he is. 

"Tys," Gabe says, his face splitting into a wide grin. 

Tyson wastes no time at all, grabbing the collar of Gabe's shirt and yanking him inside, then wrapping him into a tight hug. Gabe immediately hugs him back just as tight, one of his hands coming up to cup the back of Tyson's head and the other wrapped around his securely around waist. Tyson buries his face into his neck and breathes in deeply, smelling the familiar scent of Gabe's shitty cologne that he's missed so goddamn much. 

Gabe presses a feathery-light kiss to his neck, and then his jaw, and then his cheek until they're finally, finally kissing. It starts soft with both of them just feeling each other out again until Tyson presses harder into it. Gabe lets out a small gasp which Tyson takes as his opportunity to slip his tongue against Gabe's softly, making Gabe's fingers tighten in Tyson's hair. 

"Fuck," whispers Tyson when they eventually pull back – his own forehead resting against Gabe's as they breath the same air. 

Gabe pecks his lips again lightly and then starts smiling at Tyson, his eyes all fond. "I missed that," he confesses. 

A smile of his own starts to spread across his face. "I missed you," he tells him. 

Gabe laughs giddily and moves his hand from Tyson's hair to his cheek, his thumb stroking slowly across his cheekbone. "I love you," he whispers. 

"I love you too you idiot," he says and he's so happy that he's able to say it after all this time, after all that fucking heartbreak. "If you leave again I'll get Nate to kick your ass," he jokes. 

Gabe throws his head back laughing, "I'd like to see him try," he teases before his face grows more serious. "You won't have to worry about that, I promise. I'm afraid you're pretty much stuck with me now babe." 

Tyson can't help the fond expression that appears on his face. "I think I can live with that," he says and then leans in to kiss Gabe again. 

Tyson knows they have a shit load to talk about and even more to figure out between them, not to mention Gabe's hockey career now that he doesn't have a team. Right now though, all that stuff can wait because he's been without Gabe for four horrible months and he can't wait another second to take him to bed, fuck him stupid and then wake up to his stupid gorgeous face in the morning. 

And that's exactly what they do.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you SO much for reading!  
> Writing fanfics is honestly so much fun for me and I just love love love the entire process !!  
> As I said, come and chat to me on Tumblr (@nhlboys) because my favourite thing to do is talk about hockey players haha (I also accept prompts btw!)  
> Again, thanks for reading I appreciate each and every one of you x


End file.
